Living Memories
by Bestogoddess
Summary: An older Kyouko and Sayaka reflect on the past. (One-Shot)


Kyouko's eyes shot open in the dark of night. Sweat crept across her back and legs while her heart pounded hard enough that she thought anyone could hear it.

"Just another nightmare." She thought to herself with a dry laugh escaping her.

"Just another nightmare..."

She had grown accustomed to them. The lead up might be different, but one thing would always stay the same: Sayaka would end up a witch.

Kyouko looked to the bedside table on her right, her breathing now calm and her head now gripped in reality. Her gem cast a faint red glow from beside her. A little darkened, but nothing to be too worried about. She picked it up and gazed into it, twirling it between her fingers and watching the light shine through the gem. It offered her a sense of security.

How long ago had she made her wish now? She couldn't remember, nor did she care. All she knew was scattered memories of her past, as if cut apart from her timeline and stitched right into her memory, as if to say "never forget us."

It was here that Kyouko noticed the heavy silence in the room, the other half of the bed distinctly empty. Dark, too, with it's missing blue shimmer. Deciding that sleep was no longer an option, Kyouko rose out of bed and made her way to the door. Step by step, she walked through the hallway while her soul gem guided her. For a moment, she felt herself falling and wondered if her mind was still playing tricks on her, but upon closer inspection, she just hadn't seen the step.

She cursed under her breath, making her way down the stairs while calming her now racing heart, which became easier as her path was lit up from their kitchen, and it was there that she found her with a bottle of whiskey in one hand and her gem in the other. Sayaka didn't seem to immediately acknowledge her presence, but was sure she noticed her.

"Night terrors?" Kyouko asked in an attempt to get her to say something.

Sayaka shook her head.

"More just reminiscing about the past."

Kyouko took a seat across from her, gesturing towards the bottle in her hand. Sayaka pulled a second glass she had set out, pouring her a drink and slowly sliding it across the table. For a while, neither spoke, the two simply enjoying their drinks in peace.

"Do you remember that night, Kyouko?" Sayaka asked dryly.

It didn't take long to figure out what she meant.

"The night in the train station? When I knocked some sense into you?"

"Yeah, that's the one." Sayaka replied. "I remember almost breaking there, thinking that life was hopeless and feeling worthless. It was terrible, but you were there for me."

Kyouko poured herself another glass, returning to that day, when she held a sobbing Sayaka in her arms, the two of them alone in the train station. She remembered bringing the broken girl back onto her feet, making sure she was alright.

Another pause.

"What about...those two?" She asked, now a little depressed.

This one sent a twinge of pain through her heart. The Walpurgis event seemed like such a short time ago: The trio defeating such a monstrous witch as Madoka watched in awe. She remembered them celebrating for days on end, happy to be alive and beating all odds.

Then came Homura's breakdown, constantly spouting about how she no longer had purpose. She remembered trying to comfort her, the same way she tried to comfort Sayaka, but her breakdown had seemed different, in a way she couldn't explain. Weeks passed like that, some days without her ever leaving her home, sometimes falling into odd routines without thinking.

Kyouko clenched the glass in her hand.

"I should've tried harder-"

"You did as best you could. She was beyond saving. You know this." Sayaka stated in an attempt to be reassuring.

"Maybe, but Madoka...Could I have at least saved her?"

"That was inevitable too-"

"It wasn't!" Kyouko argued through teary eyes, smashing her spear into the floor. Her floor.

Madoka's floor, one that she had probably walked through thousands of times.

She remembered looking through the glass at night, always with the parents fighting. Always drunk. Always throwing blame over their tragic loss. Tatsuya never to be found.

She could've just left them alone. She could've forgotten about them and pretended everything was fine and happy, but she knew it wasn't. She knew it never was.

Sayaka began coming with her, always wanting to seek justice against them, but Kyouko, though reluctant, always stopped her. Things would get worse, though. The two would resort to attacking each other with the remains of the alcohol they'd used to drink their sanity away.

Then there was that awful night. She was sure Junko had a bad day, likely having just been fired from her job. Tatsuya had walked into the room, struck with fear over his parents. He didn't understand. He didn't have the awareness to truly understand what was happening. She was sure it was an innocent question. Something like "Can I have a glass of water", or something. She never knew. For a moment, time froze as Junko brought back her arm, empty bottle in hand. Sayaka rushing towards the house at full speed, sword drawn. Kyouko knew there was no way she could make it, but she let her go anyways. The sounds of a bottle shattering, followed by more glass and the sound of blood dripping to the floor and 2 bodies hitting the floor, along with screams of panic and fear. Within seconds, another two fell, only for a few moments, but it felt like an eternity.

She remembered digging 3 graves in the yard while Sayaka cleaned up. Both were crying.

Kyouko drifted back into reality, remembering the drink she had poured earlier, questioning whether she still even wanted it anymore. She didn't.

Once again, the two sat silently.

"I'm glad you were there for me that night." She stated to Sayaka. "I don't know if I would've made it through without you."

"Likewise." Sayaka responded. "It's a miracle we managed to do it."

Kyouko grew somber.

"At what cost, though? We lost everything, except the house. What was even the point?" It wasn't long until Kyouko was on the floor with a bright handprint on her face.

"First of all, we live on for them. They may not be able to remember us anymore, but I'm sure as hell not gonna forget about them. Someone has to." Sayaka stated while pulling Kyouko to her feet, only for a second hand print to mark her face.

"And second, don't you dare say you have nothing when I'm here."

Kyouko turned a little more red, ashamed of herself.

"Sorry. I didn't mean it like that."

Sayaka sat down again, resting herself against the table.

"Kyouko? Can I ask you a favor"

She pulled up a chair next to Sayaka, offering her the bottle. She refused, instead taking time to formulate her thoughts.

"Hypothetically, purely hypothetically, if I were to die…"

"You're not going to die. Don't talk like that." Kyouko replied with anger.

"Hy-po-thet-ic-ally" she replied, taking a long pause. "If I were to die, will you keep living for me?"

"You know that's not something I can promise." Kyouko replied.

"I know it's a selfish request, but who else will carry on the memories of those we've lost?"

"I don't know if I can live without you. You're all I have left, you know. You said it yourself."

"I know you'll find a way. I believe in you."

Kyouko thought about it for a few moments, twirling the near blackened soul gem in her fingers.

"Do it for them, not just me. They may not be here anymore, and the memories may be painful, but we all worked to get the two of us here. If you die, what will remain of them?"

More silence.

"Alright. I promise, but on one condition."

Sayaka leaned in closer.

"I want you to do the same for me."

"Kyouko-" Sayaka began in argument

"Hey, if you're making a request like that, I don't want to die on you only for you to die from grief."

Sayaka tapped her finger against the table, softly thinking her request over.

"Alright then...I promise."

"Good. Now then, we should probably do something about our gems, shouldn't we?" Kyouko asked.

Sayaka looked down at her's, nearly black with a barely recognizable blue.

"Yeah, we probably should." She replied, laughing. "I have a few spares in the room, but I think we're down to our last few."

"Alright. I'll be waiting at the front door when you find them."

Sayaka was dumbfounded.

"We're going out? Where?"

"Witch hunt, of course. We need more grief seeds anyways."

"Can't we do it in the morning? We should be fine at least until then." Sayaka explained.

"Do you really think you'll be able to sleep tonight?" Kyouko replied.

Sayaka went to argue, but decided against it.

"Witch hunt it is, then." She responded, running upstairs to find the seeds.

Kyouko admired the house, the house where Kaname Madoka once happily lived, before reality hit. She wondered if she was up there somewhere, watching over the two of them with everyone else.

She shook her head at the thought. She didn't need another reason to stop living, to leave Sayaka alone.


End file.
